Beards for the Boys!

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In honor of the good day both boys have had today (both Carter and Griffin are off their oscillators – for now and hopefully forever – Carter started his feeds and Griffin stopped his insulin) I thought I would share how Tim is bracing himself for the long road ahead!  Tim hasn’t shaved since the boys have been born.  And if you know Tim, you know that this is a big deal – he’ll have no choice but to be a mountain man for Halloween! 

Tim calls this his rally beard…he is doing it until both the boys come home as a visible reminder of their fight and need for love and constant prayers!  He says every time it itches he thinks about Griffin and Carter, and sends them messages to keep fighting. 

I just love this idea – so appropriate, given that the last time Tim grew his beard it was for the Sabres playoffs.  A sign of solidarity and a strong drive to succeed!  So if any men out there feel like tapping into their inner Paul Bunyans to lend a little strength to our two tiny men put those razors down!  But beware – this may be a while – realistically we know the boys have at least 2 and a half months of NICU time ahead of us.

Home again, home again!

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Well…on to phase two of the boys’ lives.  The NICU phase.  Yesterday I came home, and am no longer an elevator ride away from them.  I must say, compared to the last time I did this with Addison, I am much more prepared mentally for what lies ahead.  I didn’t leave the hospital with a severe sense of anxiety this time.  I was able to fall asleep without obsessing for hours about what the boys were going through in the NICU.  This time I am at peace with nurses and staff looking after them and I am convinced that they can do a lot more for Griffin and Carter at this point than I can.  Maybe because I am older (and wiser of course!), maybe it is because the boys’ needs are much greater than Addison’s ever were, or maybe it is because this is not my first time at the rodeo but I am okay with letting go of control (at least for now)!

I was beyond excited to get home to the girls!  Letting go of the control over my house and the lives of Kennedy and Addison was a lot harder to do!  I came home to a festive sign made by Jaime and the girls, Kennedy cleaning the toy room, and a bare-bottomed, but freshly bathed, Addison!  Kennedy kept repeating “I’m so excited you are home!” and wouldn’t leave my side for quite some time.  Addie was too busy being her “two-year old self” to give me a hug when I walked in the door but instead ran and grabbed her Barbie and said “You can hug Barbie” then ran off again to play!  So glad she adjusted in my absence!! 

Of course, if I am being completely honest (and that is my intention with this blog on the off-chance that someone in a similar situation comes across my ramblings) I do miss the rest time that I was able to have in hospital.  That and the scheduled pain medicine!  It is very easy in a situation like this to forget about the fact I just had surgery and have incisions in multiple layers of my body.  There is just so many other things I want to do than rest and remember pain meds!  However, at times my body makes sure that I remember and I do relax.   I’m sure in a week or two I will be back to normal.  My house can get cleaned then!

I heard a man on NPR repeat his grandfather’s favorite saying.  It struck a cord with me and has now been added to my list of personal mantras.  He said;

“Life is a process of adjustment.” 

So here we go – time for our family to adjust to our new “normal”!

Day 3, treading softly

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Griffin and Carter are doing well.  As well as can be expected for two boys born 15 weeks early. 

I probably won’t go into details with my updates, because the constant status changes are overwhelming for me, and I am here to witness them.  But here is where we are right now…

Both boys: being so little and young there are some issues that they each have that goes for any baby this size.  Our biggest worry is brain bleeds.  Since their little heads are so fragile they are in danger of brian injury.  Today they each had a head ultrasound to check for bleeding and came out looking good.  Phew!  They will repeat the test in a week to check again.  If they come out on top for that test the chances of brain bleeding decreases.  They are both have tubs coming out of their umbilical cords.  These are for medicines, transfusions and such.  They receive antibiotics to ward off any infections they may have.  They are given a medicine to help with lung and heart development.  They are both on ventilators to help their tiny lungs.  They are on feeding tubes which will be the case for months as babies don’t develop the ability to suck and swallow until around 32 weeks (Thanksgiving time).  Their skin is really fragile so they are resting in about an 80% humidity incubators, to protect them.  This percentage will hopefully decrease by 5% everyday until they can handle natural air.  They are under blue lights to help with liver function, and this requires protective eye patches.  All of these things seem to be treated as though they were expected by the experts from babies at 25 weeks.

Griffin:  He had a rough day 2.  He was moved up to an oscilator, which is a ventilator that gives tiny fast shakes to the baby’s lungs to help open them up.  It was  a tough transition for Griffin and he was not happy with it – but he has since relaxed and adjusted to his new movements.  He has had a few other issues here and there and is being tended to by his own nurse (usually each nurse has two babies).  She watches him and adjusts as needed.  Last night his nurse referred to him as a “one night stand” saying that he definitely knew what he wanted and let it be known.  I think she was trying to say he was high maintenance!  Surprise, surprise – the one that looks like Tim is already having girl trouble 🙂

Carter: He has had an easier few days than his big brother.  He has to be put on sedation every once in a while because he is a mover and a shaker.  Every time you look at him he is stretching, adjusting, flexing.  While this is a good sign that he has a lot of fight and energy in him it is not the best way to be for a baby with wires everywhere!  Tonight Carter was put on the oscillator like Griffin.  He too needed the extra support for his lungs.  This is all in the realm of norm we are told but it is not easy to watch these little guys shake so fast, it can’t be comfortable.

I touched them each once.  But refrain from doing so in general.  Whenever they are touched they jump a little and the last thing I want to be is the cause for an IV to come out.  The nurses and doctors try not to touch them often either and practice what they call “cluster care”.  They try to do things that may disturb the boys in clusters as to get it all over with at once, this way they can rest for long periods of time.  The nurses treat them like their own babies and I am always content when I leave knowing that they are in great hands.

This was not our plan…

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If we have come to learn anything over the past couple years it is that making plans and expecting them to turn out the way you want is just plain silly. 

First, in 2009 Addison was born two months early.  Next, in 2010 I was laid off when my district faced low enrollment and budget issues.  Later, in 2010 my mother unexpectedly passed away at the young age of 63.  And now, in 2011 we have two teeney-tiney little boys who will spend the first part of their lives in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit).  We know better to plan out how we want things to go – we know that the big things in life cannot be planned, we know that God has the plans – our job is to be present in the moment!

So this is the attitude we are going with for the next few months.  We have no plans for these boys, or how we, as a family, will deal with what comes our way.  Instead our plan is NOT to plan!  We have heard from friends who have been in our position, doctors, nurses, strangers on the elevator that the next few months will be really hard.  That there will be major setbacks with babies this young, that there will be days when we will celebrate successes and days that will be overwhelming with issues.  And we will be dealing with all of this times two!  

So we delve into what we have been given cautiously optimistic, knowing that it will be hard and we will face really bad days and really good ones.   We also know that we have faced challenges in the past and we came out okay – we in fact, danced in the rain to get through the storm.  We will do it again.

A week of contractions!!

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From the moment I found out that I was carrying two babies my life revolved around keeping them safe.  I went to my regular doctor every two weeks and then to a high-risk doctor on alternating weeks.  I received ultrasounds every two weeks and stopped working at 23 weeks.  I stopped working out, lifting anything over 20 lbs. (including my 2 yr. old), and sorrowfully cut back on house and yard work ;).

However, even with my life changes I started bleeding and cramping in my left uterus at 24 weeks and 2 days.  This landed me at Women and Children’s Hospital for what became one of the hardest weeks of my life.  I had “lived” in the hospital before when my water broke with Addison, I was prepared for the boredom and the lonely days ahead.  But this past week was difficult beyond boredom in many ways. 

My contractions never really stopped.  Some days I would have painful contractions every 5 minutes for hours, some days they would be every 30 minutes.  Most nights I would go into episodes of really painful labor symptoms that they could stop with medications and pain killers.  Some days I couldn’t eat because they thought I would have to go into surgery at any moment, and I won’t talk about my bathroom restrictions!  I got a UTI and bladder infection which not only added to the discomfort in general but also the uterine irritation.  

It was a long week –  but it was worth every day!  The doctors tell me that everyday in my belly each baby gained about 30 grams – so I gave them an extra 210 grams of weight before they were born.  Not to mention the days with the lung and brain  stimulating drugs that got to do their thing during their 24th week in the wombs! 

We went into the hospital thinking that “Lefty” ,as we called him in utero, was going to be the boy who caused the most trouble in bringing on the labor.  Turns out that even though “Lefty” was head down and contracting like crazy “Righty” was the little guy, who in the end, forced the doctors to take me to the OR for an emergency C-section.  After a few hours of labor with the previously followed drug regimen not working “Righty” was coming out so it was off to the OR.

They had set up an OR just for me the day before to speed things up in case of emergency, and the doctors had been well aware of my needs.  They were going into the C-section hoping to deliver only “Righty” but honestly unsure of what would happen once they started the procedure.  There are no documented cases of a woman with my abnormality delivering two babies at two separate times via C-section.  I “fell asleep” under anesthesia not knowing if when I woke up I would have two babies or one, still pregnant with “Lefty”.    

In the end, Griffin Parker Camp (previously known as “Righty”) was born at 4:14 am weighing 1 lb 8 oz.  And after his water breaking during his brother’s delivery, Carter Jeffrey Camp (a.k.a. “Lefty”) was born at 4:21 am weighing the same as his brother.  We were now parents to two 25 week old baby boys!