Today in a casual conversation with the bank teller I told him it was Friday. He looked at me for a moment and said, “Is it? I think its Thursday.” It took me a moment to agree with him. He continued to work as I stood there, kind of in a daze. It seemed so strange to me to be standing at the bank, not sure what day it was. I remember this feeling from when Addison was in the NICU. I remember walking through Walmart with my MP3 player on looking around me thinking how foriegn the world around me seemed. Life with a child in the NICU, or hospital at all I assume, is like living in an alternate universe. The world that was so normal before suddenly is strange, and the world of the hospital, you knew nothing about before your child needed medical care seems perfectly natural.
Luckily, the other part of the equation I remember from Addison is how quickly you transition back into the world of bank tellers and checkout lines when your child comes home. You adjust quickly because now you have a newborn at home who needs to also assimilate into the “normal” world. The NICU experience has changed you forever but the details fade in a way.
Other than not knowing the day of the week we are slowly adjusting to life with children in the hospital. My aunt has been staying with us (since I can’t drive yet and still need lots of rest to recover from the surgery) and we have developed a nice routine of time at home, running errands and visiting the boys. Our nanny still comes to take care of Addie while I am with the boys and Tim stops at the hospital on the way home from school. The evenings we try to keep normal for the girls. It isn’t so hard, juggling our time, and we all seem to adjusting - for the most part.
The boys continue hold their own. Carter still has more respiratory issues than Griffin but we are told their issues are nothing outside of the norm for babies their size. We were approached about enrolling them in a study to give them more of a lung stimulating drug (surfractant) than a normal preemie would get and we can only hope that A. both boys are getting the drug and not the placebo and B. that it works in opening their airways and getting them off the ventilators sooner. Griffin has steadily increased on his feeds and is up to a whopping 3ccs as of this afternoon. Carter is getting 2ccs of my milk and I am feeling fulfilled that I am able to help their development in some way.
As always, only time will tell how they do and each day provides new conditions to understand. We truly believe that our boys are strong and are tiny little fighters. We also believe that your prayers and support is a great asset to them and our entire famiy as we navigate our way through the next few months. So keep them coming!